OF BOYS, BIRDS, AND BEES

MARY AMOROSO
The Record (Bergen County, NJ)
01-28-1999
OF BOYS, BIRDS, AND BEES
By MARY AMOROSO
Date: 01-28-1999, Thursday
Section: LIFESTYLE
Edition: All Editions -- 4 Star, 2 Star B, 2 Star P, 1 Star Late, 1 Star Early
Column: THE PRESSURED PARENT

I got a note recently from the mother of a 9-year-old boy who is
now taking sex-ed classes at school.

Let's talk about boys and puberty, she wrote.

Mothers are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to
anticipating changes in a son's body. We, of course, remember everything
about our own coming-of-age, the embarrassment alternating with smugness
about our own development.

But boys? If you ask your husband for guidance, you are apt to get
a series of uncommunicative grunts. At least that's what I get.

So I talked to pediatrician Joseph Cannaliato of Paramus for
guidance, and I checked out the Internet to get a sense of boys'
development and boys' concerns about their development.

Keep in mind that as a boy turns 9, 10, or 11, he's probably not
going to welcome your guidance on his development. That's private, which
is why sex-ed classes at school and a confidential chat between the
pediatrician and your son when he gets his physical examination are so
important.

And it never hurts to get a young man a couple of books about
puberty. I'll give you some suggestions below.

Puberty begins at different ages for different boys, ranging from
about 9 to 14. The growth and development process takes 2 1/2 to 4
years.

"The average age for a girl to start puberty is about 11,"
Cannaliato said. "She'll finish by 14 or 15. The boy is a little bit
later, before or around 13 on average, and he'll mature about 15 or 16.
I consider anything under the age of 8 to be precocious development, and
there's usually something else going on there."

The first sign of puberty is that the testes begin to enlarge,
followed by a growth in pubic and body hair, a general growth spurt
(boys increase their height by about 8 inches in puberty), and increase
in the length of the penis. The penis also more frequently becomes
erect, which can lead to its own set of embarrassments for a teen.

Testosterone pumps up muscles and doubles the length of the vocal
cords, giving boys newly deep voices. (This always blows me away, when I
pick up the phone and hear my 12-year-old son's friends sound like
20-year-olds, when last month they sounded like 11-year-olds.)

The larynx or voice box becomes larger, giving boys their "Adam's
apples."

All these raging hormones stimulates the sebaceous glands in the
skin to produce more sebum -- or oil -- and acne. Eight out of 10 teens
have acne. Washing with soap and water helps, and there are medications
for more severe acne, but time is the ultimate cure.

Another element of puberty that can be deeply distressing to boys
is temporary breast development.

"The boys get panicky," Cannaliato said. "They're 14 years old,
and they have some breast tissue or a lump in their breast. We tell them
it's perfectly normal, but it may take months or years before it
regresses."

It's called gynecomastia, and it affects perhaps half of boys in
puberty. Sometimes only one breast looks as though it's developing;
sometimes both do. It will go away, but in the meantime, boys may want
to wear loose shirts.

Yet another concern is the 13- or 14-year-old who still looks like
he's 9 -- the late bloomer. If your puberty or your husband's puberty was
on the late side of normal, you can almost expect that your son's
puberty growth spurt will be later than his friends'.

It's hard to be shorter or vocally squeakier than your friends. But
some children have what is called a "constitutional delay" -- they're
slower to attain their normal adult height -- although they do get there.
A very short mid-teen may want to be evaluated by his physician to make
absolutely sure he doesn't have a deficiency in human growth hormone.

An X-ray of the child's hand and wrist (called a bone-age test) can
reveal how much more growing your son has to do.

Keep in mind, steroid use -- for diseases like asthma, rheumatoid
arthritis, and inflammatory bowel disease -- can retard growth.

And I had to ask: Why does a doctor check a young man's testicles,
something that's got be embarrassing to young guys?

The doctor, it turns out, is checking for hernias or tumors.

Also, Cannaliato said: "We're making sure the testicles are in the
scrotum. If the testicle is not in the scrotum, it could be in the groin
and eventually it will come down during puberty. If it's in the abdomen,
it's usually an abnormal testicle, which has greater chance of becoming
malignant."

Overall, Cannaliato says a parent should have been talking to his
child about sex and love and care of one's own body since the child's
early school years, because puberty is a time when children naturally
begin to pull away from parents.

Which is where good books can come in. Some suggestions for books
on boys' puberty:

"The What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing
Up Guide for Parents and Sons," by Lynda Madaras.

"Changes in You and Me: A Book about Puberty, Mostly for
Boys," by Paulette Bourgeois, Martin Wolfish, and Kim Martyn.

"Everything You Need to Know about Growing Up Male," by
Bruce S. Glassman.

"Boys' Puberty, an Illustrated Manual for Parents and
Sons," by Alain Chirinian.

"Puberty, Sexuality, and the Self: Girls and Boys at
Adolescence," by Karin A. Martin.

Keywords: YOUTH. SEX. EDUCATION. BOOK. PSYCHOLOGY

Copyright 1999 Bergen Record Corp. All rights reserved.